My Thoughts

The world is constantly changing.
The Earth is slowly losing oxygen.
The sun is slowly dying.
Time is running out.
Our existence is limited in time and space.
In this urgency of existence we meet
We are born, and we will die one day
I want to return
I want to return to the past where the people reside
in places I've been
But the world is changing
And past is only in memory
They are gone. The places are different.
I do not know these people.
I do not know these places.
Most places are not preserved for historical significance or emotional attachment
They change completely within a matter of months or years
because money is the driving force of the world
The playground is there, but the kids are different
and I am different. I am no longer a kid.
I am too big for the swings and the slide
The school is there, but the students and faculty have changed
It's not the same school of the past
I cannot be a part of it as I was in the past.
I cannot join them and become friends with them
I cannot be in the same place again
I cannot meet the same people again
Because the world has changed
The places have changed
And the people have changed
Imagine I am in a large dark structure
with each floors containing different memories
The people and places that form the substance of such memories
lighten up the dark structure with emotional attachment
I reach out for them but the floors are constantly shifting
By the time I can touch them the places have already changed
I only know I am headed in the right direction
because my paintings come out alright
Oh how much I miss my friends who no longer talk
How much changes have been in my life
and the world we reside in

Last Winter Maiden

Acrylic on canvas, 30 x 24 inches

2015-11-21

Two Sisters

36 x 24 inches, 2015-10-03

Wonderful Rain

Acrylic on canvas, 40 x 30 inches

July 2015

Artist Statement

(updated August 2019)

I use abstraction and stylization to arrive at a unique image and voice to speak about people who excite me with abstract emotions that I cannot describe. When I encounter someone special, brilliant, or beautiful, I have abstract emotions that make me happy, sad, and hopeful at the same time. I've gone through a lot throughout my young adult years, and I believe I can return to my origin when I examine my childhood experiences. When I was a child, the world was a mysterious, intriguing place that was brimming with abundance and meaning. My world was a jungle filled with greenery and creatures. Something happened in-between my childhood and my adulthood years, something like a nuclear detonation over the Amazon jungle, which turned my view of life repetitive, boring, mundane, and barren. I reject my current state in which I cannot find meaning in life and I am drowned in loneliness. I want to convey the excitement and meaning that I attach to people. People are not something to be taken for granted. We are the most complex beings within the vicinity of the Milky Way galaxy. We have potential for growth and positive change. I am an idealist.

My art is a way for me to get intimate with the subject. I want to be friends with my own creations. My art may be my own construct of an escapist fantasy from reality, but I have faith that my art will lead me back to reality in which I can meet exciting people again and feel abstract emotions that inspire me.

Blue Ballerina

Acrylic on canvas, 60 x 73 cm

2015-06-13

Yellow Nude

Acrylic on canvas, 60 x 73 cm

2015-06-12

A Walk in the Park

Pen and pencil on paper

Winter 2014/2015

Her Garden

Winter of 2015

60 cm x 73 cm

Portrait of Rita Simonova

26 x 22 inches